Tag Archives: domestic life

The Cookbook Was Never the Problem

There is nothing modern about this problem. It is one that smells of dust, glue, vanilla sugar, and echoes with the defeated sigh of domestic ambition. It lives in the bowed cookbook shelf, in those cracked and fraying spines, in the turmeric fingerprints on books bought under the same repeated fraud: this one will be used.

The kitchen has always been an archive of sorts, albeit one with little hush and a source of fire, collecting fat, heat, paper, steam, and intention. In this setting the home cook becomes an unpaid librarian of appetite, hoarding recipes with the same touching optimism previous generations reserved for jam jars, opaque repurposed ice cream tubs, bits of string, and screws, so many screws, in tins. Our collections look magnificent: a decade old hardback with a television grin on the cover, a recipe pamphlet from a package holiday ‘pasta night experience’ stapled through the heart, a tatty box of clippings, dead URLs, orphaned instructions. Dense, generous, full of possible suppers. Then the evening’s plan is discussed. A surfeit of soon-to-be-mush courgettes in obscene quantities. Chicken again, though not like Tuesday. Anything that is not another traybake committed to the oven and considered an answer. At that moment that bowed shelf turns from abundance into accusation. You do not lack recipes. You lack retrieval.

Cookbooks are almost perfect, as anyone who’s last-minute panicked in Waterstones on Christmas Eve can post-rationalise. They do not ping, dim, update, lock, refresh, or retreat into a black mirror when your hands are slick with garlic and chicken juice. They sit open, obedient and useful, inspiring. They are tools. A phone is never just a recipe. It is a siren of distraction: messages, adverts, pop-ups, consent banners, and some foodie stranger’s 1,500-word emotional journey with parmesan. Consequently, we must resist and insist the answer is not another app-shaped panic, not any kind of system, not a deluded Sunday afternoon of organisational typing-it-all-out righteousness.

Go to your shelf, have an app produce an index. Barcode, title, author, tags: searchable, private, useful. Rescue them from their own splendid inert stupidity. So when those courgettes arrive in vulgar green abundance, you consult your own shelves first. Not that shouting bazaar of the internet, nor the monetised blog-ramble of strangers. Your library, the one acquired through singledom, coupledom, a Tuscan period, health kicks and “the kids will eat like lords!”. Your taste. Your choices, made earlier, when you were thinking clearly or when others were thinking of you. Search. Find. Pull the book. Cook.

It was never an absurdity owning too many cookbooks, the absurdity was standing in front of hundreds of pages of tested, trusted, tactile ad-free intelligence and choosing instead to prod at a sticky, dimming, impatient rectangle to find out how long to roast a beetroot.

AI: I used a bit of ChatGPT as a sub-editor.

UPDATE: I downloaded and started using the app. My profile is here.

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So the Hallway Shuts Up About It

A quiet, lived-in Edwardian kitchen with soft natural light streaming through large sash windows. A brushed chrome tap stands over a deep white Belfast sink, set into pale wooden cabinets with faded cream tiling above. A worn oak table with mismatched wooden chairs sits in the centre of the room. To the right, a slightly scuffed stainless steel Maytag fridge and an old gas cooker are tucked into the corner. The space feels unstyled, with muted grey and off-white tones, and subtle signs of use but no clutter. The mood is still and contemplative, as if someone has just stepped out.
When you renovate every other room and the kitchen starts looking at you like it knows it’s next.

We’ve been doing up the house. Nothing dramatic, just the slow, financially ruinous crawl from upstairs to down. Bedrooms first. Then bathrooms. Then the living room. And now the kitchen (inherited from the previous owners) is sulking. Every time I walk into it, I swear the tiling looks a shade more shabby-shite 2006.

It’s not that much is broken. Except the tired Maytag fridge freezer, a burner that doesn’t ignite and the sink tap leaks, oh and the ruinously-expensive-to-repair-out-of-warranty Miele dishwasher. It’s just been… outclassed. Like turning up to a wedding in M&S when your wife’s in The Row.

And this irritates me, because I’d quite like to think I live with a bit of restraint. I’ve written before about resisting the upgrade spiral. About not living like a man permanently preparing for an estate agent’s photoshoot. But it turns out that once you start, the rest of the house doesn’t politely wait its turn, it stages a coup.

The formal name for this, according to Rory Sutherland, is the Diderot Effect. You buy one nice thing and everything else starts to look shit by comparison. Diderot got a red dressing gown and ended up replacing half his house. We bought a fancy shower mixer and now the kitchen tap feels like it came out of a skip.

Which is how we end up here. Discussing a kitchen renovation because although it’s neither urgent, nor falling apart, it’s because the surrounding rooms have raised the bar to a level our sad little units can’t clear. And I hate myself for it. Because I also know that if we do go ahead, the new kitchen will make the hallway feel dingy, and the garden and patio will look lazy and provincial, and so on until we die or go bankrupt.

And yet, this is the maddening bit, I also know we’ll probably do it. It’s not vanity. We don’t want quartz or fluted wood or some comically oversized kitchen island, we just want to stop thinking about it. To be able to walk through the space without mentally adding it to a list.

It’s the tyranny of the unfinished, the psychological admin of rooms and spaces you haven’t yet dealt with.

There is, of course, a way to dodge all this. You could adopt the Sutherland doctrine and buy a 16th century house. One of those glorious old piles that look better because they’re full of crap. But we don’t live in a Tudor house. We live in an Edwardian semi in Surrey where any attempt at minimalism makes the place look like a probate sale, and maximalism makes it look like you’re an edgy creative that’s gone mad on Etsy.

So here we are. Planning a kitchen. Not for resale. Not for guests. Not even for ourselves, really. Just so the hallway shuts up about it.

AI: This piece was, as ever, written by me. I used ChatGPT to sub-edit, and keep the tone aligned with my voice. The experiences, perspectives, and final edits are mine. AI also produced the tag list, excerpts and image that accompanies it.

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